Manners are simply kindness, rehearsed.

• Arrive on time, or fifteen minutes late if it's drinks first — never empty-handed (see Hospitality).
• Greet the host first, then circle the room. Eye contact is the entire job.
• Don't touch the wine on the table until the host pours or invites you to.
• Phone face-down, on silent, off the table. Always.

Napkin onto your lap as soon as the host sits. Mid-meal pause? Loosely to the left of your plate. End of meal? Loosely to the right — never refolded, never crumpled.

Cutlery works outside-in. Knife in the right, fork in the left, tines down in the European style, tines up if you're American — both are correct. To signal you're done, place knife and fork together at four o'clock on the plate.

The big bowl on the right is for red. The smaller, narrower one is for white. The flute is for sparkling. The tiny glass at the top is for dessert or fortified wine. Water goes in the largest tumbler, usually placed above the knife.

Hold a wine glass by the stem — not the bowl. Your hand warms the wine and smudges the glass; both are sins.

When the host pours a splash for you to taste: look (clarity), swirl (just a small one), smell, sip. A nod is enough. Sending wine back is reserved for genuine faults — cork taint, oxidation — not personal taste.

At a toast: make eye contact, raise the glass, gentle clink (or no clink at all — a raised glass is enough), then sip. Never toast with water; it's considered bad luck in nearly every culture that toasts.

• Talk to both neighbors — left first for the appetizer, right for the main, traditionally.
• No politics, religion, money, or health complaints before dessert. Maybe not even then.
• Ask questions. The best dinner guest is curious, not impressive.
• Compliment the cook. Specifically. Once is humble; thrice is wine talking.

Stay at least 20 minutes after coffee. Thank the host on the way out — and again the next morning, by message. A handwritten note within the week is the move that gets you invited back forever.